After a long and academically successful sabbatical, I am back. Riiiiiight at the back.
The last time I was losing this badly at anything was the time I took up that bet against gravity. My main man Felix Baumgartner let me down there. And himself, come to think of it. “Never bet against something you can’t see” my Grandmother always said. She was right. Even if you win it gets all up in your grill, and the worst part is that you won’t even know it.
Geez I’ve gotten bad at this. I hate to think what’s happened to my dating skills.
Testing that this week, if all goes according to plan. I am going to bet against gravity, again, but this time I’m in a little more control. I will not let my date-rate drop (plummet) below 1 per week. Baby steps.
“Yeah right”, I hear you say. “I’ll bet with gravity, and against your date-getting skills.”
Well I have a response for you. Shut up. This is South Africa, who say’s “yeah” anyway?
On a side note, in a more positive tone (bordering irresistibly charming), does anybody have a friend they can set me up with? PLEASE. I can Skype. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
It’ll be cool and stuff
I’m gonna get spammed for that…