Failure

It hurts.

I definitely lost that bet.  I did attempt to acquire and follow through on a date. And i did actually go on one, but it was far from success.  It went something like this

Get lost on way to Date’s house

Fetch date

Chat about running while we drive to our trail run location

Run out of things to talk about (Im aware of the irony in that figure of speech)

Get lost

Awkwardly get directions over the phone from Dates local friend

Arrive at trail run location, get informed my gate personnel the park is closing

Drive home, via Dates house

That’s a squib if ever I saw one.  I mean, all we had to talk about was whether or not we were going in the right direction. And if you are even a novice at emotional emasculation, you’ll be well aware of the “you’re lost” trick.

 

Oh well. It’s time to get back onto the rollercoaster I fell off of.  I have a date primed and eager, so I hear.  So if that’s you, I promise we won’t get lost. 

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#13 Just an average DVD?

Boys you should really invest in mates (and a brother) like date #13 has.

After having agreed to watch a DVD together as the date, we started talking options. A Clockwork Orange was suggested. After consulting my dear friend Wikipedia, my response was something along the lines of, ‘on a scale of A Clockwork Orange to Bambi, I’d say, why don’t we pick something more like Date Night’. [I’m quite punny, I know. But just as a heads up for any future dates – Google your movie choice. A Clockwork Orange is probably not a good one to start with.]

DVDs may seem a pretty standard date night choice, but there was nothing average about this set up: I arrived to find a trail of lights, leading to a lounge-type-vibe set up in the middle of a field across the way from his house. Couch, carpet, big screen, blankets, snacks and possibly 20 extension cords. Amazing.

A perfect summer’s evening after weeks of rain, made full use of and thoroughly enjoyed.

I made reference to finding yourself good mates and a brother, because you can’t carry a couch by yourself. Apparently they’re to be reimbursed with a brought breakfast in the morning.

I am so impressed, and can’t help but feel that should some lad decide he wants to legitimately date me, he’s a poor sod for the date-standard has been set quite high. In fact I was so impressed that when I got home, I made one of my housemates get in the car to go and do a drive-by, in order to get a shneaky look at the set up… Genius!

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Blind Dating Mr Bean

Blind Dating Mr Bean

I realise that it’s exam time, and that therefore everything (funny or not) becomes hilarious.

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Site Stats

One of the most interesting things about writing this blog is getting to see where in the world people are reading it!

We can now say we’ve had thousands of views, from more than 30 countries.

Here’s the ‘print screen’ shot to prove it 🙂

Impressive right?

PS: Absolutely no idea who the randoms in the Jordan or Guernsey are. Where is Guernsey anyway?!

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S********l Happens

After a long and academically successful sabbatical, I am back. Riiiiiight at the back.

The last time I was losing this badly at anything was the time I took up that bet against gravity. My main man Felix Baumgartner let me down there. And himself, come to think of it.  “Never bet against something you can’t see” my Grandmother always said. She was right. Even if you win it gets all up in your grill, and the worst part is that you won’t even know it.

Geez I’ve gotten bad at this.  I hate to think what’s happened to my dating skills.

Testing that this week, if all goes according to plan.  I am going to bet against gravity, again, but this time I’m in a little more control.  I will not let my date-rate drop (plummet) below 1 per week. Baby steps.

“Yeah right”, I hear you say. “I’ll bet with gravity, and against your date-getting skills.”

Well I have a response for you.  Shut up. This is South Africa, who say’s “yeah” anyway?

On a side note, in a more positive tone (bordering irresistibly charming), does anybody have a friend they can set me up with?  PLEASE.  I can Skype.  Email me at ivanichesach@gmail.com

It’ll be cool and stuff

I’m gonna get spammed for that…

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#12 Whatever floats your boat

So after a bit of a drought (these things can happen in the blind dating world too), I got back into the game yesterday.

After having a few interchanges, trying to set up a time with Date #12, I woke up to a message that went something along the lines of ‘Good morning. I know that I’m one of 50, but I feel like we really have a special connection. How do you feel about us calling each other ‘Babe’? And is it too soon for a joint Facebook account?’.

Babe.

This friend of a friend’s friend suggested we go for a paddle down the Duzi. Being the (not-so-)pro paddler that I am, why not accept the challenge? So off I went with suncream, lycra pants, life jacket, helmet and gum guard. Kidding, I’m not that geeky, I fortunately didn’t take all of that. Just the lycra pants – that was an unfortunate.

So Babe and I set off, paddling down one of the glorious African rivers, with checkers packets acting as our national flower, in full bloom along the river banks.

We shot a few weirs. Braced ourselves through a series of rapids. But yes, we fell out. Once. We had made it successfully down the first and highest weir. I was mid-shout of ‘YESSSS’ with paddle up victoriously up in the air. When we hit a clump of reeds. And capsized.

Waiting for our chauffer (the little brother of course) at the designated spot, we got some extra date time as the youngin got himself lost and disorientated en route. But all was well redeemed, when he arrived, for Babe had asked me whether prior to the date what my choice of preference was; water or coke. I ordered water.  But getting in the car I noticed it was a choice of beer or water for him, and cider or water for me.

Cider please!

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#11 a valley and a dragon

As you can tell, real life has hit the three of us hard. Nearing the end of semester, dating hasn’t been a top priority. This is part of the beauty of the challenge – as long as it averages to one a week for a year, it doesn’t demand constant commitment. Right back to dating stories:

The other day, I had a realisation about expectations that would come with such a challenge, for any girl bold enough to embark on such a challenged is probably expected to be one-hang-of-a-looker. That or a Bridget Jones type character. With that in mind, I was pretty grateful that this next date, I’d atleast been introduced to once before, so there wasn’t any fear false advertising created by hisimagination. The bittersweet of a photo-less blog. Although, let’s be honest, in most situations facebook stalking has probably removed the complete element of surprise at someone’s appearance. [Just for the sake of future dates, I’ve decided to keep them ‘blind’, doing as little prior-investigation as possible].

Date #11 took me in his seriously old-school Landy to Umgeni Valley. Quite an adventure. Breath-taking. I feel a little robbed not having been there before.  The picnic spot along the river banks, at the bottom of the valley was serene. Completely mesmerising being in such an isolated, untouched corner of nature.

I was told that sailing was the alternative date plan, but being a competitive sailor, he only had access to a racing boat which on-board guests are ‘advised to wear a wetsuit and an adult diaper it goes so fast’. – Glad he want with the pleasant picnic!

Chocolate SuperM’s and slabs were held between our feet, and dunked in the ‘refreshing river’ for a while. Thereby, reverting any damage done to the sweet-goodness during the non-air-conditioned car ride on one of Africa’s gloriously sunny days. Genius.

Basically all was hunky dory… until we had to walk back up, out the valley. Thanks to my asthma I sound like a dragon while getting used to the up-hill altitude change.

Attractive.

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